closure

do you know the worst thing about free time - when you absolutely have nothing to do? when you've seen all the movies, watched all the anime episodes, finished reading all the good novels from the library? you start thinking. mostly its about inconsequential things which wont affect your life in any way. most of the times,u think about getting of any new movies, anime etc etc.

i start borrowing random music dvds of my friends & randomly start checking out the songs.

thsi is exactly what i was doing yesterday evening. i was bored to the bone. i had just seen lost se4 ep3. anyway, i came across this song ache, by james carrington.

the song is beautiful. period.

however, what hit me the most was that it reminded me immediately of a certain thin, brown - eyed curly haired girl. just listening to the lyrics, i could connect with what the singer was trying to convey.

she wasn't extraordinary in any of the factors we guys generally look for in a girl. she wasn't gorgeous. she was cute, but had a dimpled smile which i always believed she saved for me. no-one else. it was my smile.

i was nerdy, thin & lanky. i wore a shirt & pair of trousers. she wore a pretty salwar kameez. still, still didn't think twice about holding my hands in the corridors of our college. she made me feel special.

to me, she was poetry.

but then she never gave me her personal number, but gave me her dad's. i was loathe, not to mention embarrassed, to disturb her dad to call her up. so i almost never called her at her home. but in high school, we spent all our time together.

then my dad got transferred. i got admitted in an engg college in another place.

i didn't have any contact of hers. her dad'sno got changed. no-one else had her number too.

i'll put it short & sweet. life sucked the first one & a half year here. i remembered her all the time. i thought of her when i was alone in my room, or when i was looking at a couple holding hands & walking together.

it took me a year to get over her. there are two things i learned from falling in love.

it happens to the wrong person at the wrong time.

falling in love is easy, gettin over her is what's so hard.

i came to know last month that she's going out with someone else. a common friend gave me a call n told me. she sounded sympathetic. i said its ok, its not that i had asked her out properly.

that night as i laid in bed, i closed my eyes & sighed sadly. i guess i needed to hear something like that. i needed closure.